Playing Soccer encourages you to kick decapitated heads

Modern day football (soccer to you American readers) was developed by the victorious English on the battlefield. The victors would decapitate the heads of their enemies and have a kicking good time in the 1300s.

Fast forward to the 21st century. The year is 2009 and Apple has started a revolutionary new past time of baby shaking. It all started with a simple iPhone/iPod Touch application of "Baby Shaker" that could be purchased for 99 cents at Apple Apps on iTunes.

The craze was so phenomenal that eventually, people hooked on the games started shaking real babies. Much as how World of Warcraft gamers call on the Dark Prince of Hell Satan Ragnaros for powers to pyroblast their enemies to cinders.


GET THE HELL OVER YOURSELVES YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS PUNKS. When babies cry during the work transit early in the morning, we've all at one point or another wondered- "I wish I could somehow shut that baby up."

Prisoners of War will attest to the fact that the wailing cries of babies are used as a method of softening before an interrogation but war veterans have yet to be outraged by the children's groups and brain injury foundations for NOT BEING SYMPATHETIC to the plight they have suffered.

Human nature as such implies "Yes, we think about screwed up shit." BUT the super-ego convinces to us to NOT ACT IN THE ANTI-SOCIAL MANNER of actually shaking babies to shut them up.

Truth be told, I'm not entirely sure how banning such a game will discourage baby shaking, in fact, it might even encourage some to act out since they're unable to find a healthy virtual outlet for their pent up baby wailing induced frustrations.