The End is Nein

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2007- Fallout 3. Bethesda Softworks LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Nein. Non. No. The End is definitely not nigh.

For a man who's destroyed the world three times over, Roland Emmerich is making tons of money. And what is the director of celluloid disasters such as Independence Day and The Day before Tomorrow, going to do with all the money that he can't possibly spend during the End of Times?

For that matter, even Jehovah's Witnesses, those persistent (annoying) evangelists have stopped their traditional (since 1874) apocalyptic prophecies when they botched it up again for the last time 1975.

Humanity seems intent on marking every significant historical milestone with apocalyptic ideologies. When the United Nations was formed, biblical doomsayers were quick to point out that the beginnings of this world government was a sign of the end of times. Truth be told, we have it on good information from "reputable" sources that the world's probably been ending since 99 AD. Well, here's the good news- It's not over and we're still here.

Here's our tip for you astute August Men out there, when friends bug you to spend $9 on Roland Emmerich's 2012, smile and tell them to turn on the news. Disasters happen everyday and the ones on CNN have special effects more realistic than anything Roland can throw at you. -JH